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The Jeff Gordon Hating Association


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The Rainbow Warrior decides to take a stroll in the snow.  He slips on an iced over bridge and falls into the icy cold river underneath the bridge.  Three kids see it happen and rush over to save him.  "Boys," the Rainbow Warrior starts, "You have just saved a two time Winston Cup champion from drowning and you all deserve a reward.  You name it and you got it."  The first boy thought for a moment.  "I'd like to go to Disney World with my family," he finally says wistfully.  "I will send you and your entire family for a week at Disney World in a top resort."  The second kid didn't even have to think before he said, "I'd like an ATV to go mudbogging in my back yard."  Wonderboy says, "I'll get you the best ATV with all the best safety features and I'll get someone to teach you to drive it safely."  The third boy thought long and hard.  "I'd like an electric wheelchair with cruise control, and a HiFi stereo system," he said knowingly.  The Rainbow Warrior starts out, "I'll get you the - hey, wait.  You aren't handicapped, you don't need a wheelchair!"  "I will after my father finds out who I saved from drowning...."

Terry Labonte and Jeff Gordon go on a fishing trip and rent everything - the poles, the boat, the wading suit and even a cabin in the woods.  They spend a fortune.  The first day, the go fishing, but they don't catch anything.  The second day, the same thing happens, and it goes on and on like this until the very last day of the trip, when Terry catches one fish.  As they're driving home, they are really depressed and Terry says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish cost us almost fifteen hundred dollars?"  Wonderboy says, "Wow!  It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"

One day, Dale Jarrett walked by a group of #24 fans who were screaming, cheering and clapping.  When Jarrett asks what all the fuss is about, one of the #24 fans says, "We just completed this Jeff Gordon puzzle in 60 days!"  "60 days?  That must've been some puzzle," Jarrett said. "You bet!  On the box it says 2-4 YEARS!"

Jeff Gordon is distraught because he thinks Brooke is having an affair, so he goes out and buys himself a handgun.  One night, he walks in on Brooke in bed with some hunk, and he puts the gun to his own head.  Brooke jumps out of bed, begging him not to kill himself.  He replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

What's the worst thing about 5 Gordon fans going over the edge of a cliff in a Monte Carlo?
A Monte Carlo seats six.
Waht's the difference between a car full of Gordon fans and a porcupine? 
With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.