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The Jeff Gordon Hating Association

And more JOKES














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Jeff Gordon and Bill Elliot are in Elliot's motorcoach, watching the six o'clock news.  Elliot bets Wonderboy $500 dollars that the guy they are reporting on will jump from the building.  "That's a bet I can take," Wonderboy says.  The man jumps from the building only seconds later, and Bill, feeling guilty, says, "You don't have to pay."  "No, a bet's a bet," the Rainbow Warrior replies.  Elliot, feeling even more guilty says, "No, you don't understand.  I knew he would jump - I saw the 5:30 edition."  Gordon, wallet on the table, says "So did I, but I didn't think he would jump again."




























One day a Dale Jr. fan was walking along the beach when she came upon an old, odd - looking lamp.  Not being one to ignore tradition she rubbed it and much to her surprise, a genie appeared out of it.  "For releasing me from the lamp, I will grant you three wishes.  But, there's a catch.  Whatever I give you, Jeff Gordon will recieve double."  She shrugged and said, "I can deal with that.  OK, I really could use a new Dale Jr. Monte Carlo."  A red Dale Jr. Monte Carlo appeared at her side.  "Now, for your one Dale Jr. Monte Carlo, Jeff Gordon has two."  She shrugged again.  "For my second wish, I would really like 1,000,000 dollars."  Instantly, a million dollars appeared in the back seat of the Monte Carlo.  "For your one million, Jeff Gordon has gained two."  "Well, that's ok, as long as I have MY million.  Ok, finally, I have always wanted to donate a kidney...."




































Jeff Gordon is visiting a high school, and he asked for someone to give an example of a tragedy.  One boy offered, "If all my friends were involved in a wreck because of a drunk driver and they all died, that would be a tragedy."  Wonderboy shook his head.  "No, that would be an accident.  Anyone else?"  One girl raised he hand and offered, "If a school bus carrying 50 children ran off the side of a cliff and everyone died, then you would have a tragedy."  The Rainbow Warrior shook his head again.  "No, that would be a great loss.  No one else?"  The class was silent.  Finally, one boy said, "If Jeff Gordon, Rick Hendrick and all the Rainbow Warriors died in a plane bombing, you would have a tragedy."  Wonderboy beamed.  "Wonderful!  And would you care to explain?"  The boy replied, "Well, it wouldn't be an accident and it sure would be no great loss!"




























THE RAINBOW WARRIOR!